Kerstin at angelblue.com

Post Christmas blues. Worrying times too as the prospect of war with Iraq gains momentum. My move to England in 1991 was marked by the first gulf war and it had brought my deepest fears to the surface. Perhaps it is a sign of maturity or plain old age but I am handling it better this time, simply by facing up to its reality rather than trying to hide from it. Nonetheless, I feel a permanent knot of anxiety in my stomach.

A trip to Berlin brings welcome diversions. We are invited to Club Robinson on the Fleesensee in Mecklenburg Vorpommern, for our bi-annual sales meeting. Rachel and I take the opportunity to spend a few days prior to the conference at my sister's flat in Berlin. It is bitter cold and snowing and we enjoy cosy tipsy evenings at the Barist Bar in the trendy 'Hackesche Hoefe'.

Love front is quiet. There is a lover. I first met him the same week as Robert in 2001 and we rekindled our aquaintance last September. He is 10 years older and has a complicated life which is probably what attracts me to him (apart from his good looks and amazing body)! I am very fond of him and love our spontaneous meets; alas, I know that this will never develop into a proper relationship and I am generally ok with that.